Lifeboat Theory- Who wants to be thrown out??!
There are five people in a lifeboat in the middle of the sea– a female doctor, a lawyer, a crippled child, a garbageman, and stay-at-home mom…one of them has to be thrown overboard. Which one would you choose??
Wait, you chose THAT one?? Why did you choose the one you did? Is that person any less valuable than any of the others??
This is how i live my life…in the lifeboat mentality…who is better than me? Who is smarter than me? Who is skinnier and fitter than me? Who can play chess better than me? (haha)
This morning i was driving to work, and i was in a long lane of cars, waiting to turn. Once I got to the front of the line, a minivan pulled up next to me and wanted in. Some of my thoughts were:
Ugh! Why does she think she can do this? How is that okay?
Does she think she’s too good to sit in a long line of cars?
Ugh, I think I need to let her in, but i should just make her wait. It’s what she deserves.
How is this okay for me to think these things?? I mean, it didn’t really cost me anything to let her in. One second maybe. But I felt like she was being selfish and implying that she was better than me!!
When Jake and I were playing chess over christmas, he won 2 games in a row and i got soooo angry because i felt bad about myself. keep in mind that it was the first two games of chess i had ever played in my life. i even cried because i lost because i felt so devalued. I won the third game (i thought he let me win, but he said he didnt). Suddenly I felt happy and valued again. Why? Because I felt valuable again. I felt like i could do something well.
I was discussing a couple chapters from a book with some students who are helping me lead small group this week, and as i walked into the library and sat down at the table, I excitedly said, “wow, weren’t these great chapters?” A little awkward silence was my reply. They didn’t really like it that much. I suddenly felt defensive and sad. Why? Because I gave value to something that they didn’t give value to.
The problem comes because I’m looking to get acceptance and approval from the outside. I’m never going to be fulfilled by that; because i always want more. This causes a variety of emotions in me– anger, jealousy, pride, doubt in myself.
Galatians 1:10 “Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
February 21st, 2006 at 8:35 pm
That’s a good thought. We need to think about what makes us feel valued, for ourselves and others.
February 21st, 2006 at 9:09 pm
yes. good. way to be vulnerable. hopefully we will get to the place eventually where we won’t have to just reflect on these things later, but we can stand firm in our value as people in the moment and don’t have to feel defensive. I love you!
February 21st, 2006 at 10:21 pm
Well, it wouldn’t do to throw the crippled child overboard, he or she would probably just drown. The single mother MIGHT be the parent of the crippled child; even if not, we don’t need to make an orphan or another kid. The woman doctor? Nah, she’s doing good for the world of women, pursuing a professional career. I say the garbage man and the lawyer decide between themselves by playing paper-rock-siccors.
February 22nd, 2006 at 10:56 pm
so tiff ive been discovered on voxtropolis…i was going to try and keep this one quiet but i guess thats not possible…so yeah im here and now everyone knows…woo…=)
March 30th, 2006 at 12:42 pm
Hi my name is Brandy. I was wonderign around this Vox site for the first time and ran across your page (link from Dave’s site). Looks liek this is an old post, so i don’t know if you will even get this!!! I was grabbed by your title becasue my husband and i have been in classes with God regarding this issue of the lifeboat. If you haven’t read it, you might want to pick up a copy of Donald Miller’s book titled “Searching for God knows what”- there is a very strong theme of this LIfeboat theory in it.
PS- Your expressions of frustration and worth issues feel like they were plucked out of my brain. I had the same reaction to a couple chess games (Risk is bad for me too). I also like to punish people who infringe on my rules and thwart my will, like the lady trying to cut into traffic. I am slowly begining to see (and hopefully live out) that there is room and freedom in Jesus to admit when soemthign is wrong and still be free of it. Even if it still goes on. All those commands of “love/bless your enemy… give the theif your coat when he takes your shirt…” are more about me being free than rules to force peace.
my blog site: http://www.xanga.com/brandybrandt1